Parents Make Mistakes: It’s Okay to Admit You Were Wrong

Episode #27 in the “Raising Kids Who Can Cope” Series

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We all want to raise kids who are emotionally and socially intelligent and are able to recover from disappointment to grow stronger every day into adulthood

Parents make mistakes. It’s just that simple.  There is no book of answers to questions we have on raising our children, but because we are human, we do have bad days, and yes, we do make mistakes. This doesn’t mean we can’t admit that we were wrong, be willing to grow from the mistake, and do better next time.

Admitting you were wrong, and apologizing for your actions, will not undermine your authority with your child. In fact, apologies can help build a stronger relationship between parents and children.  Apologies help restore good feelings, reduce the resentment your child may feel, and give you a chance to talk to your child about what happened and why it was wrong.  They also teach the child that everyone makes mistakes and how one should behave when they do.

Mistakes teach us lessons and remind us that we are human. Instead of dwelling on a mistake you may have made, you need to push forward and keep trying.  From mistakes we also learn to problem solve and be a better person.  Life is a journey and so is parenting.  As we make mistakes, we become better, wiser and respected by our children for admitting that we did.

Children do not need perfect parents, they need us to model for them how to be gracious humans. It is never too late to recognize mistakes and apologize for your actions.  This can transform your relationship with your child into one with much trust and respect.  As parents, we need to stop being so tough on ourselves for not being the perfect parent (whatever that is).  We need to remember that life happens, and so do mistakes.

Raising Kids Who Can Cope is a 28-part series developed to build skills, knowledge and awareness in adults who play a role in young people’s lives. It is brought to you by Jackson County UW-Extension and Together for Jackson County Kids. Find out more at Raising Kids Who Can Cope.

References

University of Minnesota Extension

Aha! Parenting.com Blog (www.ahaparenting.com)

Grocott, Heather (2014). Parents make mistakes, too. WPRI.com program, aired: April 14, 2014, 11:06 am.

Ending the Lectures to Get to the Real Learning

Episode #8 in the “Raising Kids Who Can Cope” Series

Click arrow to listen to the 90-second podcast.

We all want to raise kids who are emotionally and socially intelligent and are able to recover from disappointment to grow stronger every day into adulthood

As adults, we have a wealth of knowledge and experience to draw on when talking with young people. It can be tempting to lecture children about what we have learned. However, research tells us that the most effective way to learn is through personal experience.

Though we want to steer children away from negative experiences when we can, if we use a few key strategies to talk to young people, we can help them learn how to think for themselves and solve their own problems. In doing so, we prepare them for the times when we can’t be there to help them know what to do.

Consider using television as a way to start conversations, such as, “How would you have handled that character’s situation?” or “What would you have done if you were in that character’s shoes?” Keep your tone relaxed and be prepared to really listen to their responses. A good follow-up question might be, “If you did that, what do you think would happen next?” It’s a great way to begin talking about natural consequences. When you ask open-ended questions and allow the young person to think through the imagined scenario, they become better prepared to face a real situation on their own.

The more you listen and ask questions the more likely they are to take part in future conversations where you can help them improve their critical thinking skills for making healthy choices for themselves.

Raising Kids Who Can Cope is a 28-part series developed to build skills, knowledge and awareness in adults who play a role in young people’s lives. It is brought to you by Jackson County UW-Extension and Together for Jackson County Kids. Find out more at Raising Kids Who Can Cope.

References

Ginsburg, K. R. (2011). Building Resiliency in Children and Teens. Grove Village IL: American Academy of Pediatrics.